I've had much too much going on this week. Work is a cluster as usual. And a boring cluster. Family situations are just way out of control. You know it's bad when I can't even write what i'm feeling. Writing has always been my outlet. I'm not very externally emotional...you know I don't cry, or throw temper tantrums. I internalize EVERYTHING. And then I articulate my hate/love/indifference on "paper."
So this week has been so bad I haven't even been able to do that! Ugh! I'm taking a baby step and at least starting the dialogue on how utterly clueless I am right now to get any kind of normality, vision and control in my life. I've thought about checking into a hotel and just kind of zoning out and coming up with a game plan. It sounds selfish but I really need to focus on me and what I want. Want I want to do (career wise) where I want to live (move out of state?) All of these things I just cannot do in my present situation. There is far too much drama and i'm having to do far too much middle-manning to be able to do anything for myself right now.
1 comment:
I'm afraid you're going to have to do something quick. Stop the madness, and let grown people reap the consequences of their actions. Yea, it may be people you love, and they may hurt, but it's not your fault. You aren't abandoning someone by stepping back. If you don't do it now, it will still happen, just may hurt you and everyone else worse in the end. Start deciding, stop being dragged along. It will be more helpful in the end.
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